Hello, and welcome my friends. My name is Tiger, affectionately given the name because of my absolute adoration for the one and the only. Some choose to liken me to them. I am both sneaky (in some cases, sometimes not) and I was- according to many relatives- adorable as a small life-form. But enough about me, today you'll be seeing the one and the only. The man behind this story I'm to tell.
This man, created by Jake in a switch-thing over on the Sims Forums, landed in my hands, and he better be glad, 'cause starting right now, he'll be in for one crazy ride to prettyville. This man is....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Name: Dario
Age: Young Adult
Traits: Shy
Good
Light Sleeper
Computer Whiz
Born Salesman
Now that you've met this fine specimen, let's take a look at his home. While I could have forced him to live off the land, I'm a nice person.
Dario: Did you make me this hideous?
No. I wish.
The kitchen.
Dario: Why is it so old?
Do you have money pouring out your ears? I didn't think so.
The bedroom. Home to the future of sleep.
Dario: And my lovely times-
God he's weird. Here is the bathroom.
And finally, the most important thing in the entire world; his chess table. His lifetime wish is to be the Chess Master or whatever, so this'll be fun. Better than trying to climb the ladder in 6 days.
Dario: What? Chess. That sucks.
Would you rather a house or no chess? Make your choice, ugly one.
Dario: Hey, don't be rude. I'm not looking at you anymore.
Good. I'd rather not see your hideous nose.
I know chess sucks, but your traits line up. It was this or a Forensics thing that would never be completed.
Dario: I could complete a career-
Not with a wife and a few babies in tow. Do you know how many days off you get for just marrying someone?
Dario: One?
No, it's more like three. Or something odd. Get back to chess so you can skill up.
Dario: Fine, weird voice from heaven.
I was happily watching him playing his chess when this hideous man walked to the front door (we don't even have one) and shook the screen like a walking lunatic. No university for us.
No. Please leave and find someone else to annoy.
Dario: Maybe I wanted to go-
No.
Given that he didn't need anything for a while, I forced him to chess for a few hours until he skilled up, because he needs to. There's a ticking clock on this challenge.
Dario: Can I meet a woman soon?
Yes, Dario. You can't reproduce alone. God that would be hideous.
Dario: I'm not that ugly!
He finished and now it's time to go on an adventure! Time to find a love.
Dario: A love? I can't have multiple!
I'd say it would be hard for one woman to love you, but then again, sims these days don't even care. Why aren't humans so accepting?
Literally they'll fall for anyone that breathes. One day you think you're straight then: BAM! You fall in love with the guy next door.
Dario: I'm not going to be able to have children if I fall for the man next door.
Good. He's old and complains a lot.
I've brought him down to this small cafe to find some women. This has turned so odd very quickly.
Dario: Hello ladies.
That suit is hideous. Can we burn it later?
Dario: I love this suit.
I introduced him to this woman, not realizing that she's in quite the relationship with the prince.
Dario: How do you do, my lady?
Gabriella: I'm...well, thank...you.
Now Sebastian dislikes us for chatting with his romantic interest. Well sorry.
Sebastian: Get your hideous face away from the two of us.
Dario: I didn't know talking to women flirting with the prince is frowned upon.
So I sent him off to the bookstore to purchase a logic book and continue to search for someone.
I knew from the moment we decided on Hidden Springs that I wanted him to marry Emmaline, but she isn't the one.
Emmaline: You're not very attractive, Mr Dario.
Because Cassidy Earthsong arrived and I knew she would be perfect for him.
Dario: I would like a say in this thanks.
A say? You'll be doing all the talking, mister.
She's so adorable. I can't wait to see the little green beans.
Dario: Hello, miss.
She doesn't notice him at first, but she will.
Prepare for a lot of talking and not much of anything else.
Dario: Do you like small houses?
Cassidy: Funny you should ask. I live in a small house.
This woman walked past, caught a glimpse of what she'll miss out on, and proceeded running away from him.
Dario: I like computers, don't you?
Cassidy: Maybe.
Cassidy: Mmm, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. I'm a Paramedic.
Dario: I'm an unemployed Chess Player. We're very similar.
Enter this old man. His name is Louis Sweete, right? Maybe.
Louis: Don't speak to me when I'm on my stroll! I like these strolls at 8:00."
I know I've been forcing him to stand here for so long, but I promise it's definitely for a good cause.
Dario: So, Cassidy, we're friends, right?
Cassidy: I suppose so.
Cassidy: You won't believe who I met! The prince himself.
Dario: Oh please. He dislikes me for talking to his now girlfriend.
Dario: I have some better news! I know to speak to you a lot better now we're friends.
Cassidy: I'm glad, Dario.
They had the hearts but I missed the opportunity. I do know that Dario thinks she'll do, and rates her a six out of ten.
Dario: I think you're quite lovely.
Cassidy: You too.
Cassidy: I can't believe I liked that prince. He's so stupid.
Dario: I know right. I hope he gets his toes chopped off.
That's a bit extreme, Dario. Calm thyself.
Cassidy: I can't believe I didn't realise how...attractive your skin is.
Dario: You can't talk! You're a little green bean.
Aww.
Cassidy: Your arms are strong, Dario.
Dario: Your back is...strong, Cassidy.
Aww, he thinks about her.
Cassidy: I like you. Do you like me?
Dario: Of course, Cass.
Dario: I picked these from that bush over there when you weren't looking.
Cassidy: They're lovely, Dario.
Aw, cute. Look at how fast this is.
FIRST KISS. FIRST KISS.
I'm sorry, he's probably hating me right now. I'm just real excited.
He's really hungry and it's all because of her.
Dario: Will you...maybe...date me?
Cassidy: Uh, of course. Don't trick question me.
Dating selfie? Just started dating selfie? Look at how ugly my date is selfie? Look at how adorable my date is selfie?
Dario: Say green bean!
Cassidy: Green bean!
Since it's almost 12:00, I sent the lovebirds to his house for the night. Since why not? It's late anyway.
At least we can sell her car when she moves in.
Dario: I like this car!
Cassidy: I'm glad, but that was rather random.
Dario: Oh, sorry.
She'll hear me soon.
That concludes Day One of this uglacy. You've met Dario, you've met Cassidy Earthsong, and you've seen the home. Next time, we'll see the antics continue when we return to.....The Nightmare Before Pretty.
No comments:
Post a Comment